The Hidden Strength No Longer
by pandora-of-the-south
Summary: Raped and half marked removed, running from destiny only to be kidnapped, raped repeatedly and pupped which was purified accidentally. What more can the God's child undergo before her strength within is lost to the darkness that threatens to overcome her?
1. Chapter 1

_**Previously:**_

_Kagome is a demigoddess, Goddess Selene of Greece is her grandmother on her mother side; Miroku and Princess Ayame are her grandparents on her father's side. Her parents are Naxos and Kazuki._

_Naraku is destroyed but only after he raped and half way mated Kagome. The mating mark was destroyed and she leaves to set out on her new destiny once he is killed._

_Shippo is fully grown and soon to be captain of Sess's guards. Inuyasha and Sango are mated as well. Kagura is a wind nymph and Kanna is an earth nymph, who Koga seeks to mate._

_Kagome has had to endure even more hardships on the seven months of separation from everyone that she loves and cares for. _

_**Will her protector be able to heal her or will she lose the strength to survive once the secrets are out?**_

**Chapter 1**

Everyone was within their rooms getting ready for the celebration that would soon be taking place.

Sesshoumaru had sent a servant to Kagome's quarters to bring her to his.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Enter!" Sesshoumaru stated while knowing it was Kagome.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Of course Kagome, I wanted to personally give you the kimono that you will wear tonight! I hope it is to your pleasure, milady!" Sesshoumaru smirked at her slight blush.

As the blush seeped further and further down her face and neck she finally noticed the silk wrapped package placed neatly on his bed.

"You really didn't have to get me anything Sesshoumaru. I don't have any way of repaying you for it."

"It is nothing new; simply something I had to give you seven months ago when I thought you were originally coming to live here, now I have you here and a reason for you to actually wear it."

Kagome slowly walked over to bed and hesitated before she came into contact with package.

Flashes started to run through Kagome's mind of past events, she started to shake her head and walk backwards from the bed.

Sesshoumaru immediately picked up on her nervousness and fear spike in her scent. He placed his hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"Get away from me. Leave me alone, please don't. DON'T TOUCH ME." Kagome screamed, still trapped in past events.

A protective barrier popped up around her as she collapsed to the floor in a heap.

Sesshoumaru growled low as he stood helplessly by the collapsed form of Kagome. _'Still denies us. Been through too much.' _his beast whined within his confines.

Nodding his head in agreement he started to move towards the bed when he noticed that the barrier around her waivered when his aura brushed upon it. 'Interesting.'

He slowly lowered to the floor beside Kagome and watched as the barrier altogether shattered and released her to his care.

'It would seem that your subconscious recognizes us as non-harmful though your conscious mind can't help but live in the past.'

With Kagome cradled to him he carried her to his bed to lay her down; not realizing that she fisted one hand on his haori while the other found a lock of hair that draped over his shoulder in the process to pick her up.

As he got her settled into the middle of the bed he moved to leave her in peace only to finally notice her death grips on his person.

'If only I could have her hold me like this when she is awake and conscious of her actions.' he sighed while moving to get comfortable beside her on the bed.

A couple of hours passed before Sesshoumaru finally succumbed to sleep himself, only to awake with a startled Kagome in his arms a few minutes later.

Kagome couldn't believe the immense warm that was surrounding her; she didn't want to wake from such a blissful sleep. 'When exactly did I go to sleep?'

Suddenly as if to answer her unasked question of where this warm was coming from she felt something nuzzle her neck and whimper.

Her eyes shot open while her heart sped up, the nuzzling and whimpering grew to try to calm her down.

'Silver hair…white clothes…this room…did I…am I in...' she couldn't get her thoughts together as she stared down at the demon lords head nuzzling her neck while wrapping his arm tighter around her waist and whimpering louder every time she tried to move away.

"Sesshoumaru?" she questioned. She didn't quite understand why she was in his room much less on his bed until she saw the package at the foot of the bed.

'That's right I started to panic, I must have had an anxiety attack and passed out from it.'

Just as she was starting to get use to her surrounding and relax again a very loud bang could be heard before Jaken came barging into the room and spot her on the bed with his Lord.

"You filthy whore get your disgusting body out of my Lord's chambers; especially out of his bed." Jaken bellowed.

However, before Kagome could respond, Sesshoumaru awake and glared blazing red eyes at his retainer.

"What is the meaning of this Jaken? When did I give one such as your self the liberties to just come barging into my chambers unannounced and unwelcomed?" all in the room could hear the menace dripping from every word he spoke to Jaken.

"Forgive this unworthy servant of yours my Lord I was simply trying to locate your wretched ward, I swear that human does what she can to make my life…"

"Enough! Get out of my chambers at once and if you had any true demon powers you would realize that Rin is with Shippo in the gardens." Sesshoumaru stated as they watched Jaken make due haste to leave the room at once but not until he shot a hateful glance at Kagome one more time.

"Uh Sesshoumaru I really think I should not be in here and should be getting back to my own room. I wouldn't want to sully your reputation by the servants getting the wrong idea about us."

"And what pray tell is there that they would have to get any type of idea of Kagome?" Sesshoumaru asked as he tightened his hold on her waist once more.

Just as he was about to nuzzle her neck again she slowly slipped out of his grip.

"This is not right my Lord. I have been dirtied and I will not lower other demon's opinion of you by being associated as anything other than a retainer for your ward. Please don't ask of anything more from me, I couldn't handle it." she pleaded.

"Very well, I will abide by your wishes." he stated reluctantly while adding mentally, 'for now at least.'

Kagome picked up the parcel that held the kimono that she would don tonight for the celebration and left the room to enter her own.

Ayame and Sango finished early getting ready for the celebration and decided to see how Kagome was coming along.

They walked to the room that Rin had stated was their friend's chamber and lightly knocked on the frame.

"Um…Come in." Kagome announced while struggling with her obi that just would not tie correctly.

Ayame and Sango walked in to see the young demigoddess struggling and neither could hold back the laughter that burst from their mouths nor the tears that came to their eyes from laughing so hard.

"Seriously Lady Kagome you look like you have never worn one of these before." Ayame stated sweetly as she walked towards the young demigoddess to try and be of some assistance.

"Calm down Kagome, I promise that you are not going into battle with the obi and that if you would just relax it would come naturally into place for you!" Sango spoke up as she placed a calming hand on her long time friend's shoulder.

Once the two ladies had Kagome all dressed in her attire they both looked at each other than back to Kagome's hair.

"Now what are we going to do about her hair?"

"What about my hair?"

"I know it is just so long and gorgeous, maybe half up and half down?"

"No that won't do Lady Sango; besides proper protocol states that all of the hair should be up like ours is." Ayame spoke.

"But it is so gorgeous; can't we say the hell with protocol and let her leave it down?"

"You just don't want to have to put it all up!"

As the two of them laughed Kagome fumed, "Don't I get a say in this? It is my hair after all!"

"Oh well of course you get a say in this Lady Kagome, however, it does not mean that we will heed your advice!" laughed Ayame at Kagome's disbelieving stare.

"I got it!" announced Sango as she started to braid Kagome's hair in two loose braids on either side of her head, only for them to meet in the middle and form one braid with the rest of her hair. After all the hair was braided Ayame picked up the flowers that were in a nearby vase and quickly went to work by placing the beautiful flowers within her hair.

"Perfect!" they both chimed as they looked at the finished work.

"And just in time, the ball is about to start. I can since Inuyasha and Miroku on their way to collect us." Ayame stated to Sango.

The three ladies got up and started for the door just as the males arrived.

Ayame walked out first followed by Sango who smirked when she saw the third male standing behind her mate. Sango made sure to block Kagome's view until the last minute and as she was turning back around from closing her door Kagome's eyes locked with Sesshoumaru's.

'She looks even more exquisite then I thought she would!' he internally stated, while he beast just purred at the sight of her with his mark on the left shoulder of her kimono.

"Wow, Lady Kagome you look exquisite, don't you two agree?" Miroku sputtered towards Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha.

This was the first time that Inuyasha had seen Kagome since she first transformed and a lot had happened and he wanted to explain things to her, but at the same time he could not take his eyes off her.

Sensing Inuyasha's inner turmoil Kagome lightly patted his shoulder as she passed him and Sango and whispered, "Worry not Inuyasha, I already forgave you months ago. We are still friends and congrats on your mating with Sango!"

When he turned to embrace her in a hug like old times two things occurred which caused him to stop. First being Sesshoumaru's warning growl and second, but most important, was Kagome actually flinched and looked to be on the verge of a nervous break down.

'What has she been put through that would cause her to radiate so much anxiety and panic?' the half breed worried.

Sesshoumaru held out his hand when he picked up the scent of Kagome's rising anxiety and was relieved when it dissipated upon their hands connecting.

Kagome didn't know what was happening, one minute she was panicking because Inuyasha wanted to embrace her, the next she is feeling comfort in Sesshoumaru's contact with her. 'I am just weary is all; I just need to get a good night's sleep.'

"Um…Lord Sesshoumaru do you know if your healers would have anything to help me sleep?"

"Kagome I have told you already to call me Sesshoumaru, I expect you to do as you are told. And as for something to help you rest I think I have just the thing that will help. I will give it to you after the ball tonight."

The three couples walked down the large hall only to meet up with Rin and Shippo who were hurrying towards the ballroom from the garden. The two flush faces went unnoticed by all but Kagome.

'Those two will make a beautiful match and cute pups. I just hope that Sesshoumaru will allow those two to mate like I saw in that one vision back when I was still with Na…' she shuddered as she tried not to finish that thought.

Sesshoumaru glanced down at her but she merely shook her head, as telling him not to worry about it; which reluctantly he did.

As they neared the ballroom Ayame and Miroku took the lead followed by Inuyasha and Sango, then Shippo and Rin. When Sesshoumaru was alone at last with Kagome, he lowered his head to her ear and whispered seductively, "I have never seen a more tempting treat in all my many years of living as I see when I look at you, Kagome!"

Just as the blush fully engulfed Kagome's face the doors opened with the announcement of their names; all activities ceased as they made their way to the floor until finally everyone erupted in cheers.

Confused eyes looked at Sesshoumaru who gladly answered her confusion, "They have all been waiting for the day that they could welcome and congratulate you for everything you have done and will do in the future. They know who you are and what you have done for them. Let them praise you as you rightfully deserve the praise for that of which you have done in your lifetime Demigoddess."

With that said Sesshoumaru himself took part in the cheering, he even went so far as to bow to her which only caused her to blush more from all the attention that he was doting on her so publicly.

The evening went off without a hitch, half way through the festivities Sesshoumaru announce to his congregation that Shippo was to be the new Captain of the guards; new cheers erupted at that announcement.

Slowly the evening died down to were it was only Kagome and Sesshoumaru left as the last of the guest left to return to their domains. The band was still playing when Sesshoumaru walked up to her and lightly tapped her on her shoulder and asked, "May I be so honored as to have this dance, Kagome?"

She nodded her head, not sure she could trust her voice right at the moment.

It was a slow dance that came from a country called England. "I believe you might know of this waltz." Sesshoumaru stated as they danced together in harmony.

"Yes I know of a few of the foreign dance techniques that are out and about, even the ones yet to come." she stated shyly, quickly thinking of the tango from Spain, or the more modern dirty dance moves that no respectable woman would dare do in public.

Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow at the new scents that were cascading out of her just then. "What are you thinking about?"

"Ha ha…um nothing of importance! Just thinking about all the dances that I do know is all. Ha ha!"

"Your embarrassment and blush are endearing to me Kagome, I suppose I might just have to keep you this way for many times to come." With that stated Sesshoumaru lowered his head and did what he had been dying to do all night; he captured her lips with his own.

_**Author Notes:**_

_**OH MY GOD…I LIVE!!!!!!!!! LOL No seriously I do live, and I am wondering if maybe my writers block is finally over?!?! Not sure but here is hoping. I wanted this to be long to make up for the VERY LONG OVERDUE UPDATE but I thought this a nice place to end the first chapter of the new story.**_

_**I feel the need to explain why I decided to end the other story only to do a sequel well the truth is…it started to feel too drown out and too cluttered by having more than one bad guy all in one story plus I couldn't think of a good summary that would explain both villains and still make it sound worth reading. Here is hoping that I did a good job with this chapter that will continue onwards!!!**_

_**Please read and review…even if flames but be nice I have just gotten through a lot of shit personally and the biggest brain fart of a writer's block ever known to man…well woman since I am female!!!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Previously:**_

_Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow at the new scents that were cascading out of her just then. "What are you thinking about?"_

"_Ha ha…um nothing of importance! Just thinking about all the dances that I do know is all. Ha ha!" _

"_Your embarrassment and blush are endearing to me Kagome; I suppose I might just have to keep you this way for many times to come." With that stated Sesshoumaru lowered his head and did what he had been dying to do all night; he captured her lips with his own._

_**Chapter 2:**_

Rin walked hand in hand with Shippo through the gardens once more as the moon was at its peak in the sky.

"Congratulations yet again on your promotion Shippo! You really deserve it."

Blushing slightly from such a compliment, "Thank you m'lady. You look lovely as well in you Kimono tonight."

"I wore it for you, I knew that it would compliment you in your uniform." she stated bashfully.

Shippo's eyes widened at that comment but then soften as the realization settled in.

"Do you know who Lord Sesshoumaru is going to get to replace you as my personal guard; can't have the Captain of the guards following me around all day after all." she finished with a sad laugh.

"I can still be your guard and fulfill my responsibilities as the captain. There is no reason why he would need to replace me, besides I already know all your hiding spots; it would take too long to show them to someone else." Shippo stated as a pain of jealousy stabbed his heart at the thought of never being able to spend so much time with Rin and someone else doing it instead.

"HA! You think you know all my hiding spots!" she smiled mischievously.

"Is that a challenge m'lady?"

"Oh Ship stop that already, call me Rin."

Stepping closer to her, he rubbed his right hand against her left cheek, "You didn't answer my question…Rin."

She watched as he slowly started to lean his face towards her and knew that he was about to kiss her. "Yes!" she replied as she closed her eyes, waiting for the contact to finally come.

"Who is out here at this late hour?" squawked an angry Jaken.

Shippo stepped back away from Rin and noticed her stiffness. "Why are you so tense? It is only Jaken."

"I guess it is really late, I should be getting back inside now. Care to accompany me to my room, who knows if I might try to hide on the way there!"

Shaking his head at the young woman in front of him he chased after her fast retreating form, opposite of Jaken's entrance.

The two rounded the corner of the hall that held Rin's room only to have Rin in the lead. "Why do you always let me win Ship?" Rin panted as she stood in front of her door.

Thoughts started to run through Shippo's mind as he listened to her say his name while out of breath, impure thoughts. "It's what a gentleman is supposed to do, is it not?"

Bashfully Rin played with her hands as she nodded in understanding. "Well then I guess this is it for tonight." she asked as she raised her eyes to look him eye to eye.

Nodding Shippo bowed to her and took her left hand in his and kissed the back while replying, "Good Night M'lady."

"Good Night Ship!" Rin stated as she mustered up all her courage to stand on her tip toes and give him a quick peck on his cheek before she entered her room blushing beautifully.

Sesshoumaru and Kagome were walking by the hall as they were saying good night to one another, however only Kagome saw the exchange and smiled.

"And what pray tell do you find so amusing at this hour?" Sesshoumaru looked down at her while noting that Shippo was standing in front of his ward's room. 'She must have been in the garden again.'

"Oh it was nothing really." Kagome stated lamely before turning her attention back to Shippo. "G'night Captain!"

Startled Shippo turned then and paled when he saw the two people there. 'Did they see what just happened? No I would be dead if Sesshoumaru had seen that, but my mother did; it is good to know that she can still get that stupid little I-know-what-you-did smirk!'

"Good night m'lord, Lady Kagome." he stated formally while bowing.

The frown on Kagome's face did not go unnoticed by either male, but she did not feel that she deserved the right to call Shippo on it.

"Come it is late and you must get some rest. We will stop at my room first so that I may pick up the item needed so you may get some restful sleep."

Nodding her head she slowly followed after the demon lord and wondered what he would have for her to sleep better, much less in his room. 'I know one thing that would be in his room that would help me sleep better…bad thoughts, no I will NOT go down that road. Sesshoumaru and I will NOT be doing THAT!'

Quirking his lips and inhaling Kagome's scent again he wondered what she had just been thinking about as they entered his bed chambers.

"So what is this?" Kagome asked as she held a bag similar to a pillow.

"It is full of hops; Hotaru told me that it would be required to help you sleep at night." Sesshoumaru stated as he opened her chamber's door.

"Why…why did you keep it all this time? How did you know that you would be able to give it to me?" she asked, a bit taken back by the fact that he still had the item seven months later.

"It is written in the stars that I would be able to assist you and give this much need herb to you, or why else would it have been given to this Sesshoumaru in the first place."

'Arrogant as always!' Kagome started to bow her head only to be stopped.

"There is no need for that Kagome. As of this moment we are equals. Go and get some rest." Sesshoumaru bowed much like Shippo had to Rin.

Clutching her left hand to her chest as the feel of his lips on it still lingered, Kagome found herself being hopeful yet again.

'This is the second time he has kissed me. First it was while we were dancing not so long ago and now this…by the gods does he know what he is doing to me?' Kagome questioned as she leaned against her door inside her room.

She dressed in her sleeping jinbei and placed the bag of hops on her bed before laying down herself. 'What if I have another dream of Sess…there is no WAY I would be able to face him tomorrow…I can't go to sleep.' she thought sleepily as the hops started to work her conscious mind to sleep mode.

Sesshoumaru woke the next morning confused; he didn't know if he should be happy that he didn't have an erotic dream of Kagome or not. 'It's only like I have had one for seven months and now that she is finally here in my palace they stop.' he sighed when he realized that he was actually looking forward to the dream after all.

Slowly he rose and dressed in his usual attire and began his morning ritual. After all he had much to think on; Rin would need a new guard, Shippo would have to be told what his new duties were, Kagome would have to start training and preparing Rin for becoming a woman, and at last he would have to shift through the courting papers of other lords and minor lords asking for young Rin's hand in mating/marriage.

"Today will be a long day indeed." he sighed again.

As he walked down the hall to his study he came across Jaken as always waiting patiently for his lord by the study's door.

"Jaken I need to summon Shippo to the study and once we are done I will have need to talk to Kagome. See to it that they are up and don't leave me waiting."

"Your humble servant will do as told, my Lord." Jaken stated as he bowed and then walked away to do his lord's bidding.

Five minutes later a very annoyed Shippo walked into the study. "Excuse me for being late m'lord; Lady Rin wanted an escort to Lady Kagome's room. She did not wish to be alone with Jaken this morning."

"It is alright this time. Rin is one of the reasons I have brought you here."

'Shit, did Kagome tell him?' Shippo wondered worriedly. Standing to attention and doing his best to not show any emotions like his lord taught him he inquired, "What would you like to discuss sir?"

"Now that you are the captain you will no longer be able to fulfill your duty fully with Rin, I need a new guard that can be entrusted with her safety."

"But Lord Sesshoumaru I assure you I can do both."

"No! You will devote your full attention to being the captain of the guards. I expect a list of qualified guards by the end of the day on my desk; I will also need one for Kagome as well."

"Lord Sesshoumaru, I think I must inform you that my mother…I mean Lady Kagome does not and will not want a guard. She would likely purify them once they annoy her enough; I'm still waiting to see how long Jaken will last in her presence!" Shippo laughed.

Nodding his head in understanding he decided to let the issue of a guard for Kagome go for now. "Very well for now I will let the issue with her being guarded drop. Have a seat while I tell you of your new duties and requirements expected of you."

Kagome had just woken not too long ago and was stepping out of her indoor bath house when Rin knocked on her door to come in.

"Lady Kagome it is Rin, may I come in?"

"Of course you can Lady Rin." Kagome stated as she wrapped a kimono over her nagajuban. "Can I possibly get you to help me with the obi, Lady Rin?"

Giggling at the older woman she stated, "Of course, though please Lady Kagome just call me, Rin!"

As Rin walked towards Kagome she noticed that she had the kimono wrapped the wrong way and simply tried to fix it when Kagome jerked away from her in sheer terror.

"Lady Kagome, what is the matter? I was simply trying to fix your kimono you have it wrapped the wrong way. Are you ok?"

Kagome tried to shake the flood of memories off as she tried to consol Rin that she was indeed fine. "What…what is wrong…with my kimono Rin?"

Cautiously looking at the taller woman for any signs of panic again Rin simply stated, "You are suppose to fold your kimono with the right side wrapped around your body then fold the left side, the way you have it as right over the left is only used in burials my lady."

Kagome inwardly laughed at that, 'I guess it is fitting that this is how I have been wearing my kimono for seven months since I have felt dead all this time.'

"Thank you Rin, I did not know. So can you help with the obi too?"

Rin nodded again and slowly approached the demigoddess while looking for any signs of panic at the same time. 'I should ask Lord Sesshoumaru about this.'

Once the obi was tied and in place the two ladies walked out to one of the many gardens and sat beneath a cherry blossom tree.

"What is it that you came to talk to me about today Rin?"

"Oh…it's nothing really. I just wanted to see you and talk about whatever, just to get me out of my room I suppose."

"Oh, so this has nothing to do with you and Shippo last night?" Kagome raised that perfectly sculpted eyebrow at the now blushing Rin.

"You saw us?" Kagome nodded. "Did Lord Sesshoumaru?"

Kagome frowned and replied, "No he did not see, nor will I tell him. Does he not approve of the two of you?"

"No one knows that I have feelings for Captain Shippo. I could only wish that he felt the same…"

"I assure you he does. I spent many years with him as his mot…as his care giver; I can assure you that it is love in his eyes for you."

Rin wondered why Kagome stopped herself from saying that she was Shippo's mother, she already knew that Shippo called Kagome that anyways.

The two ladies sat in silence as Kagome finally remembered that she was going to be training Rin to become a lady.

"Rin, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

Shaking her head Kagome continued, "Have you started to bleed yet, you know between your legs?"

Rin again shook her head wondering why she would ever bleed there. "Why?"

"Unfortunately it comes with pain and it is a monthly cycle that all females go through. It is the signal of you entering womanhood. Lord Sesshoumaru has asked that while I am here to talk to you about it and to teach you of the responsibilities that becoming a woman will entail. However, I don't wish to start it today and especially not somewhere as public and open as this garden."

Blushing Rin simply nodded her head in agreement as she noticed Shippo approaching with an angry look on his face.

"Captain Shippo good morning!" she smiled up to him.

Shippo bowed and informed Kagome that Sesshoumaru had need of her in his study. She thanked him and left Rin and Shippo to sit under the cherry blossom tree.

"What's wrong Ship?"

"It's nothing, everything. Lord Sesshoumaru has told me to find a replacement guard to watch over you. He also showed me a list of visitors that I am to keep an eye on when they come to visit with you and him."

Taken back by what he just said she cautiously asked, "Why would anyone be coming to visit with me?"

"They are going to be your potential mate Rin. Lord Sesshoumaru is going to decide who you will mate or marry." Shippo yelled out of anger.

Tears welded in her eyes at the thought of her being given over to someone that she did not love. She knew it was inevitable but still a small part of her thought that Sesshoumaru would allow her to choose her future. "Who will be my new guard?" she asked detachedly.

Shippo lifted hurt filled eyes at her and stated, "There is no one here I would trust you with but myself. How can I leave your safety in the hands of people I don't trust?"

"Could Lady Kagome be my guardian? She will be teaching me how to become a woman and therefore will be spending a lot of time with me."

Considering what Rin had stated Shippo nodded, "That might be acceptable, I will have to clear it with Lord Sesshoumaru if moth…Lady Kagome can be your guardian."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what Rin?"

"Why do you no longer call Lady Kagome your mother? She was so sad this morning when she went to call herself your mother but stopped and said that she was your care giver instead."

Not knowing what to say he replied, "I no longer need a mother and when I did she abandoned me. I guess I am just a little hurt still by it but I don't mean to cause her pain. I promise you I will sit down and talk to her today."

**Somewhere in a strange new land**

"What is this place Kanna?"

"This is the New World. You declared that you thought of yourself worthy enough to be with me, so now it is time to prove it. This is uncharted territory and you must find me by the next full moon or you must concede that you are unworthy to mate me. There will be many obstacles on your way that you must over come or you will fail. Do you still wish to continue with this challenge?"

"Of course and when I find you, I will make you scream so the whole world knows how WORTHY I am of you!" Koga smirked seductively towards the earth nymph.

Blushing slightly Kanna whispered, "Let the challenge begin."

Everything around Koga started to shift and blur until he found himself on a cliff with an ocean on his back.

'Huh good thing I inhaled and marked that place's scent to memory. I will have to find it within a month after all.' "Now this can only be worse if Kagura was here."

"Did you call mutt?" Kagura's airy voice laughed on the winds and pushed him over the cliff to the awaiting water below.

"Think again if I am going to be this easy on you." Kagura declared as she watched Koga hit the crashing waves.

_**Author's Notes:**_

_**Another chapter up…hope you all like and please feel free to read and review. Sorry for the delay but I at least updated right. In the next few chapters the new villain should start to show his/her true colors ANY GUESSES yet!!!! LOL**_

_**Pandora**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Previously: **_

Everything around Koga started to shift and blur until he found himself on a cliff with an ocean on his back.

'Huh good thing I inhaled and marked that place's scent to memory. I will have to find it within a month after all.' "Now this can only be worse if Kagura was here."

"Did you call mutt?" Kagura's airy voice laughed on the winds and pushed him over the cliff to the awaiting water below.

"Think again if I am going to be this easy on you." Kagura declared as she watched Koga hit the crashing waves.

**Chapter 3:**

The waves were crashing down on him faster than he could get away or even catch a breath. 'Am I to die without even getting a chance to find my mate? No! She is challenging me for her sister and I shall prove that I am right for Kanna.' With that thought his struggle became renewed as he finally got out of the strong current and made his way to shore.

Finally on land he looked at the jagged cliff's edge and smirked. With his knees bent low to the ground he leapt into the air eager to get away from the salt water at his back. However he miscalculated for the sudden strong wind pushing him back down and back towards the water.

"I told you wolf you can not and will not have my sister. YOU DON'T DESERVE HER!" Kagura bellowed the last.

"Kagura give me the best that you got but you will not keep me from her. I know that we are meant for one another and if you truly cared for Kanna like you pretend to then you would know that as well."

"You are meant for Kanna? Ha, just like you were meant for Kagome? How quickly your heart changes it mind. You are only going after my sister because Kagome refuses you and Ayame has moved on. You will never be worthy of her and it is time that you learn it."

Koga grimaced as what felt like typhoon force winds were being directed solely on him. 'Looks like I will have to climb out of here.'

Looking around he found a cave's opening with what looked like a path going up the side of the cliff. He very slowly made his way over to the trail and began to walk and climb up it. The narrow opening made it even easier for Kagura to direct her wind on him.

Kagura knew that if Kanna found out about what she was doing and how she was interfering in the challenge that Kanna would not be happy. 'Why Kanna do you think you deserve to be stuck with such an imbecile? You can find better if only you would give your self time.'

'_That dearest sister is not true and don't think for one instance that I don't know what you are and did just do to Koga. Though it is not right for you to interfere I can not stop you. I warned him of his challenges that lie ahead I just didn't tell him what and who they would be by. I only ask that you don't kill him, at least not before he has failed a challenge, please sister.'_

Kagura smirked and could do nothing but agree to her sister's request. She couldn't help but think how even Kanna felt that Koga would fail in at least one of the many challenges ahead of him.

Half way up the cliff Koga caught a scent, a scent of wolves. 'This could be good or bad. Though I really don't have time to stop, there is no telling how long or strong Kagura will continue with the wind blowing directly down on me.'

Looking down on the wolves that had gathered on the cliff Kagura realized that this was one of Koga's task, could he be dependable or will he be one track minded was the question at stake? Pulling back a little Kagura thought for sure he would be the later and therefore would fail and she could just kill him, Kanna had given her permission after all.

Noticing the wind backing off a little he sprints ahead as fast as he can so that he can finally be back on the cliff top again. Seeing the end of the trail in sight he sighs a sigh of relief only to tread carefully as he notices that the wolf pack is still their, almost like they are waiting on him for something.

"Tiponya we should leave here. We don't know if he is friendly or why he is even traveling alone. Wolves don't travel alone."

"Pakuna you worry too much. We sisters can take care of one wolf should he intend to do harm; now quiet before you scare him off."

"Who died and left you in charge of us Tiponya?" snarled Yenene.

Tiponya glanced at her fellow sister Yenene, "All of our parents and elders died. I am simply a little more level headed and older than the six of you. When and if we ever find a male to become our new pack leader I will more than happily step down. I miss Mingan as much as the next but if we are to survive we must learn to trust and get along Yenene."

Koga stopped as he heard the strange language being spoken amongst the wolves and decided to wait for them to stop talking, he could feel anxiety and rage coming from different ones.

Finally coming to the top of the cliff Koga glanced at the seven wolves and noticed instantly they were all female and all still just pups.

"Why are you pups out away from your pack, where is your alpha, your elders?"

The seven wolves stared at the two legged human that smelled like a wolf as they tried to understand what he spoke. Finally Tiponya stepped forwards and barked and sniped at him.

Koga raised an eyebrow as he barely made out what she had said. 'These are just regular wolves that have lost their ability and knowledge of how to transform. I don't have time for this. I have one month to get to Kanna and no telling how difficult Kagura is going to make it much less what other obstacles lie ahead of me.'

Kagura watched with a ready gust of wind to blow him over the cliff to his death, she could tell he was about to brush past the starving, unattended, and untrained pups to continue on his single minded quest. 'You are just as undeserving as I always knew you were.'

As Koga was in the middle of the pups he caught the scent of starvation on the older pups and sickness in the younger ones. He knew they were untrained and pups that don't have elders and alphas never last long on their own, 'I can't even communicate with them that well; why am I caring about this pack of pups? I should just go about my day and just ignore them.'

Just as he was about to walk out of the clearing he heard one laugh and snarl at the one that had originally approached him.

"I told you Tiponya, he wants nothing to do with us and you were just wasting our time. We should be out looking for actual wolves not humans that think they are."

"Now you listen here pup, I am a wolf. I am the wolf prince of my pack in Japan as if you even know where that is. I have no time for this I am on a quest and must find my mate. You seven could transform to a human form too if you tried but apparently your elders didn't deem you worthy with the knowledge of how."

Tiponya did not like this male growling at her younger sister no matter how rude she had been to this apparently human looking wolf. "Watch your tongue Tala."

Her sisters laughed at the name as they knew what it meant.

Helki laughing so hard blurted out, "You called him a wolf's name for a female, sister!"

Tiponya smirked back, "You act like a bitch you get called one." Never once did she take her eyes off the now pissed looking wolf.

Koga was just about to his patience level when he understood that he was just called a girls name which meant wolf. He chose instead to speak to their alpha.

"I am she for the time being, what of it." Tiponya snarled.

"You are what, barely seven moon cycles. How can you possibly be the alpha?"

"All of our pack was killed; we are all that is left as if you care. So find your stupid mate we don't need you or anyone else." Kaliska snorted.

Sighing dejectedly Koga plopped down to the ground, "Do you pups even know how to hunt, take care of yourselves, anything?"

Shyly Pakuna stepped forward and yipped out a no. He could tell that she was one of the youngest pups and probably the least experienced.

"I will help you pups find a new pack or at least someone that can help you, are you averse to being around humans?"

He watched with a sigh of relief as they all shook their heads no but one, the one that had insulted him earlier. 'She is a trouble maker I can tell.'

Yenene could tell he didn't trust her but she didn't have to answer to him anyways, he was nothing but another elder that thought he could boss her around, 'Well he has another thing coming to him if he thinks he can boss me around.'

After having an hour chat with Tiponya, Koga learned that it was simpler to just talk in wolf tongue, for the most part they were similar in language.

"What are your names oldest to youngest?"

"I am Tiponya and these are my sisters, Yenene, Kaliska, Taipa, Helki, Pakuna, and Malila. We use to live with a Miwok Indian tribe, they were in a territorial battle when we got separated; that is how our elders died."

'So their elders decided to conform to being the human's hunters more than likely and they probably also gave up their transformations.'

"I will help you pups find this tribe that you speak of but on the way you will learn from me what I can teach. First thing though we must heal Helki, Pakuna, and Malila of the sickness spreading through their body, more likely from something you pups ate. Second Tiponya when was the last time you and Kaliska ate? Don't think about lying to me because I can tell it has at least been a few days since you reek of starvation unlike the others."

Kaliska glared at Yenene, she too should have smelled of starvation unless she was not sharing. "It has been four days since last we ate; we have been too worried about the younger ones needing food to eat ourselves."

Koga nodded his head and he also noticed the glare by Kaliska that was directed at the second oldest wolf. He understood why the look was passed for Yenene is older than Kaliska and should be just as hungry as the other two are. "I will go hunt for game big enough to feed all of you while Yenene and Kaliska go in search for an herb that will settle the little ones fever."

Before Yenene could protest and claim that she would not be bossed around both Kaliska and Tiponya glared at her and ordered her to do as he said or she could starve this night.

**Back in Japan**

Kagome reached the door to Sesshoumaru's study right as she got the feeling someone was right behind her. Turning around to see if she could spot the being that she felt, she became confused as she found no one there.

Sesshoumaru got up to open the door as he sensed Kagome was just outside the door. Opening the shoji doors just as she was turning back around he asked her, "Is there something wrong Kagome?"

"No it is nothing; I just thought someone was behind me is all. It is probably just the fact that this is all new to me and I haven't been in a place this big since Na…"

Sesshoumaru immediately knew why she had stopped but he did not like when she lowered her head to look at the floor in shame. Lifting his hand to her face he placed a curled hand under her chin to lift her face back up to meet his eyes.

"You need never to be shame for that of which happened. I understand it will take time and patience to get you beyond that of which you have lived through but I want you to know that you are no different now as you were eight months ago. Well I take that back. You are, no longer following that idiot of a half brother of mine so loyally and blindly, so surely you must be smarter now!" he finished with a teasing smirk.

She playfully swatted at his hand and again the feeling of someone glaring at her returned but since Sesshoumaru didn't sense anything she brushed it off as her paranoia.

"You, Lord Sesshoumaru, are bad. Inuyasha is not that bad and you know it."

"How many times must I remind you Kagome to just call me Sesshoumaru? Especially when we are alone like now." he sighed as he closed the shoji door and Kagome sat down.

"Sorry old habits die hard I suppose. You might as well get use to it I suppose." She smirked.

"Then I guess I shall Lady Kagome." Sesshoumaru bit back the laughter that threatened to burst out his tightly sealed lips at her injustice look.

She couldn't believe she had just fallen into his trap, if she continued to call him Lord than he would add Lady to her name; it was only the right thing to do after all in this time period.

"Fine Sesshoumaru what did you want to talk about? Is this about what I will be helping Rin with? I have already informed her that I will be helping her in regards to her cycles and becoming a woman, and she was good with that decision."

"Yes that is the main reason I called for you to join me but I also wanted you to help Shippo find a suitable guard to be with her at all times and keep her safe. I would swear she had fox blood if I didn't know she was a full blooded human."

"Why can't Shippo continue to watch her? He is wonderful at multi-tasking."

"Shippo will be completely swamped with his new duties as captain plus I have already told him when Rin's suitors come to the palace that he is to watch them constantly."

Kagome hid her horrified shock at this, 'How can he ask Shippo to watch after males that are there to take away his love?' "Rin's suitors? Does she know that she has any, how does she feel about that? She is not yet ready to be married or mated off yet."

"I am well aware and as much as I do not wish to part with Rin I must at least look as if I am truly open to the idea and must play this all out."

Kagome nodded her head in understanding, 'He is not ready to give his daughter away!'

"I would also like to have you start training as well Kagome. You need to learn how to protect yourself and use your powers fully; I have to wonder if you are not doing so already to your full capacity."

"You are correct, there is much I know that I have yet to learn but at the same time I have been unable to do much of any training with others without them wanting…something…in return." she finished the last part very quietly.

He was seeing red, how dare others judge her to be like some tramping demoness that has no value for herself.

When she heard him growl she smiled up to him with an understanding look, "It is fine really Sesshoumaru, I told them exactly were they could go. I also might have accidently opened up the earth to let them get a good glimpse of the place."

He could not hold back the pride and smirk that came forward from that little admission. 'So she has not lost her spitfire attitude after all. This is a very good thing.'

Suddenly the shoji room was slammed open and Rin came barging in uncharacteristic of her self.

"If I have to put up with suitors coming and calling on me that I don't care for or even like, and if I am to loose Captain Shippo as my guard; I at least want to be able to choose who that person is."

Sesshoumaru raised his brow at her, 'Has she finally lost her mind, coming in here and yelling at me as well as to demand things from me.'

"Rin, Sweetie, do you have someone in mind that you would like to be your guard?" Kagome asked while trying to calm the young girl down.

Rin turned towards her and nodded her head, now feeling very timid and embarrassed from her sudden outburst and behavior. 'How else am I supposed to feel though when I just get told that I can't be with the one person I love most in the world? I can even tell that Shippo is closing off the door to me; he is shutting himself off to me.'

"If I can't have Captain Shippo then I would like for Lady Kagome to be my guard."

Kagome almost choked on the air she had been happily breathing in at that moment.

Sesshoumaru looked from his ward to Kagome, who was starting to turn red, back to his ward. "Have you thought to maybe ask Lady Kagome if she would even want to guard you as well as train you?"

Rin turned happily to Kagome knowing that Sesshoumaru had agreed already it was now up to the demigoddess if she wanted too or not.

"Lady Kagome please say you will, I will promise to actually behave for once in my life and not make you have to chase after me like everyone else does!"

"Who can say no to a face like that? But seriously I am not holding my breath on you behaving, you are a child and it is human nature for children to constantly get into trouble and play jokes and pranks on adults!"

Sesshoumaru was happy that Kagome had agreed to Rin's ridiculous promise, even he knew that it would never happen. He watched as his ward went to hug Kagome and as much as he could tell that she was fighting within herself she still tensed up when Rin engulfed her in a hug.

Rin tried not to let it show that she noticed Kagome tensing up, she also tried to hide her concern about it but she knew that Kagome would need time to heal from whatever it was that she had been put through.

After Rin left the room Sesshoumaru stood up; while Kagome was still trying to calm down, and sat beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder to draw her attention to him.

When he had her full attention Sesshoumaru asked, "One day I would really appreciate it if you would tell me everything that happened these past seven months. I know it is probably still too early to talk about any of it but I would like for you to one day confide in me. Just know I am always here whenever you need me."

She smiled an appreciative smile for that comment, "Will you be joining us for lunch Sesshoumaru?"

Nodding his head he stood back up and offered her a hand, which she happily took.

After lunch Shippo headed back to the training grounds were he was to observe everyone and their progress and have others get help where ever he felt they needed it. He was sure that the other soldiers would have a problem taking orders from him with him being younger and with the fact that he was practically Kagome's son and she is intended to be Sesshoumaru's mate; he thought for sure someone would just assume that is how he got his current position. However, no one questioned it instead they all thought it was about damn time Sesshoumaru promoted him.

He knew everyone pretty much knew what the hell they were doing and he didn't really need to be watching so he took this time to really think about everything that was going on. He started to think about Kagome and her abandoning him and about the pain he feels in his chest at the thought of Rin having suitors.

'I know Kagome did what she thought was right but it wasn't just her choice to make. She didn't even ask me how I felt, I would have gone with her in a heartbeat if only she had given me that choice; but no she decided for me yet again and I was yet again left behind only this time I wasn't left in a cave. I know I shouldn't be mad at her but I can't help but feel that she abandoned me right when we both needed each other the most.'

He didn't know everything that she had been through but he knew it was bad. 'If I had been with her I could have protected her and kept her safe. I could have been repaying her for all the times that she fought to keep me safe. Does she not believe me strong enough to protect her and myself? Does she not know I would gladly sacrifice my life for her? That I would trade all that I have been through these past seven months just to have been with her?'

He stopped there noticing that pain in his heart again as an image of Rin popped up in his mind, something he wouldn't have had if he had been traveling with Kagome for seven months. 'I just wish she would tell me what it was that was so important for her to leave me behind. Where was she at all this time, why couldn't she even come and visit?'

It never occurred to him that this was all for his own good, that she had been kidnapped again and raped and beaten repeatedly and that if he had been with her he would either be dead by now or used as a tool to make her bend to their demands. Then when she found out she killed her own offspring during her escape from captivity she went into a downward spiral and that it was Akiko that finally was able to pull her back out of her depression. No these were all things Kagome refused to tell him and hoped with all her heart that he never found out. She never told Shippo that whenever he thought of her that his thoughts would pop up in her mind as if she were talking to him. Kagome quickly wiped away the single tear that fell down her cheek as she heard all the hurt and anger Shippo had for her. 'I love you Shippo and one day you might just learn that what I did was for the best; for you and your future.'

Shippo decided to delve a little deeper to see exactly how deep his feelings for Rin went. He knew he cared deeply for her and even knew that he would easily lay his life on the line for her just like Kagome but what he felt was more powerful than what he felt for Kagome at the same time. He soon came to the conclusion that he was in love with her but also that it would never happened, 'She is to be married off to another lord or a minor lord but none the less she is out of my league, no way would Sesshoumaru allow Rin to marry below her station as his ward. I am nothing but I common soldier, by the gods how could I be so stupid as to fall in love with her; but then again who wouldn't? I must stay away and start to distance myself from her, I can't continue with these feelings for her; it will only hurt me in the long run when she has been married off to someone else.

Finally coming out of his thoughts he realized it was past the time that everyone normally dismissed for the day so he quickly bid everyone a good day and headed to the great hall where he was still allowed to eat dinner with everyone.

As Shippo entered the dinning room he noticed that everyone but Kagome was there and ready to start eating, he turned a questioning look to Sesshoumaru and was about to question where she was when he motioned towards the door that heads to the garden. Nodding his head Shippo walked towards the door and stepped out in the garden, instantly he was bombarded with the scent of her and tears; but he could also hear her singing.

_**I was stained with a role  
In a day not my own  
And as you walked into my life  
You showed what needed to be shown  
And I always knew what was right  
I just didn't know that I might  
Peel away and choose to see from such a different sight**_

Shippo sat down on the bench that he found near the koi pond and listened to her song. He enjoyed all the times in the past when she would sing to him, it was so heavenly. He wondered who this song was referring to as he listened to the lyrics.

_**And I will never see the sky the same way  
And I will learn to say goodbye to yesterday  
And I will never cease to fly...if held down  
And I will always reach too high  
'Cause I've seen 'cause I've seen twilight**_

He knew this song totally fit his mother but who was the person that showed her what needed to be seen. Who taught her see things in a different view then what she use to in her own time? He couldn't help but be a little jealous that she might have met someone else on her journey when she was away and that she was missing them now that she was back with him.

_**I never cared never wanted never sought to see what flaunted  
So on purpose so in my face  
Couldn't see beyond my own place  
And it was so easy not to behold  
What could hold but you taught me I could change  
Whatever came within these shallow days**_

Now he knew that Kagome really had met someone else while she had abandoned him. That person had to be the reason why she never came back to him, why she was so surprised and reluctant to come back with him and Sesshoumaru. She missed who ever it was and was moping around the palace wishing they were here with her instead.

_**And I will never see the sky the same way  
And I will learn to say goodbye to yesterday  
And I will never cease to fly...if held down  
And I will always reach too high  
'Cause I've seen 'cause I've seen**_

_**And as the sun shines through and pushes away and pushes ahead  
It fills the warmth of blue and leaves a chill instead  
And I never knew that I could be so blind to all that is so real  
And as illusioned eyes I see there is so much to be revealed**_

It was almost to painful to sit here and listen to her sing about someone that had changed her life so much when all he wanted while she was away to come back for him, to have faith in him just to find out now that she had someone that she did have faith in and it wasn't him. She didn't need, want, or love him any more and it was becoming very obvious as the song lyrics sunk in more and more.

_**And I will never see the sky the same way  
And I will learn to say goodbye to yesterday  
And I will never cease to fly...if held down  
And I will always reach too high 'cause I've seen 'cause I've seen twilight**_

_**I was stained by a role in a day not my own  
And as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown  
And I always knew what was right  
I just didn't know that I might  
Peel away and choose to see from such a different sight**_

_**And I will never see the sky the same way  
And I will learn to say goodbye to yesterday  
And I will never cease to fly...if held down  
And I will always reach too high 'cause I've seen 'cause I've seen twilight**_

Sensing that the song had come to an end finally Shippo stood up and barked, "We are all waiting on you so we can eat dinner."

Kagome jumped at the anger and hurt in his voice, 'How long was he there? What is wrong with him?'

"Shippo?"

"Don't; don't pretend that you care Kagome. Your song just proves how much you really do care about us, about your past friends, and about me. Why are you even here when apparently there is someone out there that you are missing so much?"

She could do nothing to stop the tears that left her eyes, 'Have I hurt you so much that you would not understand that you are the only person I have wanted to see and be with more than anything? Is it too late for you to forgive me?'

"If my leaving will please you Captain Shippo then that is exactly what I shall do. I do not wish to upset Lord Sesshoumaru's home with my presence any more than I already have. I can leave now and find a suitable lodging for the night then come morning I will be off the Western lands forever; just say the word Captain Shippo."

He couldn't understand it, where was her fire, her spirit. Why was she so submissive all of a sudden? No matter how angry and hurt he was with her; he knew watching her walk away again would kill him completely.

"It is not my place to tell you to leave or stay. Leave if you wish, stay if you wish; I was merely stating that if you are so unhappy here with us and wish to be with this other person so much then leave, why torture yourself with your past more than you already have."

With that said Kagome watched as Shippo walked back into the main dining hall, suddenly eating was no longer as inviting. She did not wish for everyone to continue to delay eating on her behalf so she walked in only to excuse herself to her room.

"I feel unwell and would wish to return to my room at this time if it is alright with you m'lord?" Kagome asked as she bent all the way to the floor in a very submissive position.

All looked at her then to Shippo then finally at Sesshoumaru to see what he would say.

'What is her problem? I don't understand what is going on with her any more.'

'What has happened to make her behave as such; did something happen just now between her and the fox? If only she wasn't masking her scent I could tell what ails her or if she were lying.'

"Very well Lady Kagome, would you like if someone brings you some food later?"

"No m'lord you have been too kind to one such as myself as is, there is no need to bother; I simply require rest." With that said she walked out and returned to her room.

Sesshoumaru immediately turned to the fox and questioned him, "What happened just now in the garden?"

"She was singing and I could tell that she missed someone so I told her that if being here was causing her so much pain why hurt herself more and stay, why not return to whoever it is that she misses. It is very clear by everything that she wants nothing to do with us any more."

"Runt you have better watch your damn mouth, you know nothing but the bare minimum of what she has been through. As much as Kagome has changed one thing hasn't and that is that if she didn't want to be here she wouldn't be; she is here willingly. Promise to Sesshoumaru or no promise. How could you even think that way about her, hell the song could have been about you for all you know; its only like she hasn't seen her son in over seven months and the only time she does see him he is being an ass towards her. Put yourself in her shoes you spoiled brat." Inuyasha growled.

Egeria stood up and asked to be excused. As she walked by the young fox she imparted on him the feelings of Kagome for the past seven months, of her longing for him even in her darkest of days and even with Akiko's presence it was still Shippo she wished was with her.

No one saw the interaction between the two but everyone noticed as Shippo just sat there looking even more guilty then he did before and ashamed of himself. He could tell by Kagome's feelings that she honestly believed that he was in a better and safer place at the palace and away from her; however when he tried to figure out why she had gotten so depressed the link was severed just as quickly as it had begun.

"It is not for you to know yet young one, and even then it will be her that will tell you that secret." Virbius stated for the confused fox. He knew exactly what Egeria had done, it was tricky and underhanded but sometimes you have to play like a fox to get a fox to listen.

After everyone finished the evening meal the ladies except Rin went and tracked down Egeria only to figure out she was already in Kagome's room. They were just as concerned about Kagome as the next person but they had one trump card that the boys didn't.

Sango slid the shoji screen open quickly and yell, "GIRL'S NIGHT IN KAG'S ROOM!"

Kagome quickly wiped away the tears and laughed at her pseudo sister and then at the confused looks on Egeria's and Ayame's faces.

Egeria was about to yell at the intrusion but the shout of this strange phrase had her more confused than angry, she had been trying to calm her mistress down and explain that Shippo was just acting out of anger and not understanding everything and so was reading things into it which weren't there. However whatever this girl's night thing was seemed to be a good thing since it got Kagome to actually laugh.

"You know Kagome we never really did talk earlier." Sango stated bashfully.

"Its ok Sango, I am so happy that you and Inuyasha found happiness with one another. I knew you weren't good for Miroku; he would have ended up dead by head trauma if he had stayed with you anyways. Some how though I did not picture you, Ayame, to be such a lush over the big pervert, you definitely had us all fooled. I couldn't be happier for the two of you and I am also thankful that you, Ayame got over Koga especially since he is now on another continent chasing after Kanna for her hand in mating. Also I don't think I would be here if you and Miroku didn't get it on!" Kagome joked with a wiggle of her brow.

"You are definitely Miroku's offspring!" they all joked at once.

"Any ways this is not what is important what is important is when will my father be born? Also how much longer do you have Sango?" Kagome chirped up.

All eyes turned to Sango, "Well you see we just found out last month, thanks to Lady Kaede that we are expecting. With our pup being more human she thinks it will be a full nine moon cycle term."

Ayame boasted, "I only have a matter of days. I keep trying to over exert myself so that he will come on out and get this over with but Miroku keeps coming and chiding me as if I were an ill behaved pup. He just doesn't understand how uncomfortable it is to carry a pup for so long. It should have only been six months but no we had to have conflicting auras that needed the little baby to grow more into his little body a little longer."

"See what type of mood swings you have to look forward to Sango!" Kagome laughed while ducking down to miss the pillow that Ayame threw towards her playfully.

The four females continued to play and gossip and chat about the old times all night and well into the morning hours until finally after eating breakfast decided to either lay down for a nap or just go ahead and get started on the day's duty.

Kagome knew her friends would be leaving by the end of the week, she couldn't blame them for wanting to get back to their daily lives and knew that she will eventually see less and less of Miroku and Ayame; especially since she didn't want to alter time by interfering in her father's life.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**No excuses just I am sorry. I am seriously trying to start updating more but no promises. I do hope that you all have enjoyed this extra long and well over due chapter and that you even like the twist with Koga!! The wolves' names are from the Native American tribe called the **__**Miwok**__** and they are native to the California area which is why I used these names. They are listed from oldest to youngest.**_

_**Tiponya:**__** owl poking the hatching egg**_

_**Yenene:**__** wizard poisoning a sleeping person**_

_**Kaliska:**__** coyote chasing deer**_

_**Taipa:**__** spread wings**_

_**Helki:**__** touch**_

_**Pakuna:**__** deer jumping downhill**_

_**Malila:**__** fast salmon swimming up a rippling stream**_

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_**Mingan:**__** gray wolf (he was the former leader)**_

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_**Tala:**__** female name for wolf (the insult they call Koga)**_

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_**BTW I do NOT own the song that was sung here it was sung by Vanessa Carlton and is called "Twilight" of all names!!! Please R&R**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**NO excuse but please enjoy!**_

_**Previously on Chapter 3**_

"See what type of mood swings you have to look forward to Sango!" Kagome laughed while ducking down to miss the pillow that Ayame threw towards her playfully.

The four females continued to play and gossip and chat about the old times all night and well into the morning hours until finally after eating breakfast decided to either lay down for a nap or just go ahead and get started on the day's duty.

Kagome knew her friends would be leaving by the end of the week, she couldn't blame them for wanting to get back to their daily lives and knew that she will eventually see less and less of Miroku and Ayame; especially since she didn't want to alter time by interfering in her father's life.

_**Chapter 4:**_

As Kagome returned to her quarters after breakfast she found ten dead animals strewn across her room and bed; obviously someone was sending her a warning. She spent a good hour cleaning her room and disposing of the dead animal bodies.

Just as she was about to destroy the bedding a knock came upon her shoji screen.

"Who is it?" her voice quivered.

"Lady Kagome it is I, Rin. Is everything alright? I came by to see if we could begin our training together."

After bidding Rin entrance into her room, the young girl noticed the bloody bedding and Kagome passed it off as the monthly cycle that she had briefly explained to her the day before. Rin inwardly cringed at the large amount of blood, 'Is it even possible to bleed that much and still live? Well of course you can since Lady Kagome is still alive, but still…'

"Rin do you know of a suitable place, which would be quiet and private enough, for us to have our talks of what you are to expect?"

Rin nodded her head, "We could do this in either Lord Sesshoumaru's library or we can use the Lady's of the West parlor, no one goes there since there is not a current Lady of the West."

"So long as it is alright to use the parlor I think it would be a suitable place to have this type of conversation."

The two ladies walked in silence as they made their way to the West wing's parlor. Kagome couldn't help but to marvel at the decoration. She also soon realized this was the only place so far that she has not felt someone watching her from the shadows, she felt at peace in here.

"Ok Rin, why don't you tell me everything you know about becoming a lady of age. What do you know is to be expected of you?"

"Well I know that I will be of the age to mate, which Lord Sesshoumaru is apparently going to arrange for me. You had mentioned something about having a monthly bleeding cycle. Other than that I only know that once I am given away to my husband or mate that I will no longer be considered Lord Sesshoumaru's ward or responsibility, my life will then be in the hands of my partner to handle as he would see fit."

Upon seeing her depressed expression while talking about being wed off and going away from the palace Kagome decided to let her in on a little secret. "Lord Sesshoumaru is not ready for you to leave him Rin, he has to pretend that he is at least considering the proposed unions; he however, has no intention of letting you leave his side just yet. Lord Sesshoumaru is suffering from the same ailment most males suffer from when it comes to their daughters, he is not ready for another male to take his place in your life; all good fathers feel this way when their little girls start to become of age!"

Rin smiled at that thought, it made her less angry with her current situation; now if only there was a way for her to get in touch with Shippo to let him know this as well so that maybe he would stop shutting himself off to her. She held hope that everything would work out, she could mate Shippo and still be in Lord Sesshoumaru's life; it was the perfect solution to everything.

"Rin, do you know how pups and children come about into the world?" Kagome asked hesitantly with a hint of sorrow.

"They come nine moon cycles after the wedding day, or a mating ceremony would only take six moon cycles." Rin smiled proudly of her knowledge on this matter.

Kagome just stared wide eyed at the girl. "Sort of, it happens when the ceremony has been consummated."

"You mean when you kiss someone on the lips?" Rin looked horrified, she has come close to kissing Shippo on the lips before; she knew Lord Sesshoumaru would kill him if she became pregnant without a proper ceremony.

"No Rin!" Kagome laughed at the poor girl's horrified expression. "I mean when a male and female lay in bed together. Do you understand?"

Before Rin could respond the shoji screen door slid open so fast that Kagome was sure it was going to break something. Jaken came barging in yelling at them.

"What do you think you are doing in here you filthy disgusting whore? Are you so ignorant to not know that this room is reserved for the room that Lord Sesshoumaru's mate will use? Do you honestly think your filthy self to be worthy enough to use this room? As if, and you; get your filthy human body out of here at once before I report this to m'lord at once."

Kagome noticed Rin stiffen at once upon his intrusion; she figured that the toad youkai had gotten her in trouble many times in the past. "Master Jaken I humbly apologize, it was I who requested that Lady Rin bring us here for our private talks. As there is no Lady of the house I didn't think that it would be an issue."

"You insolent whore how dare you think you have free roam of this household just because there is no Lady. I should beat you where you stand for your insolence."

Rin noticed with horrified wide eyes as Kagome lowered her head to accept the punishment, she also saw as Jaken smirked and raised his staff of two heads to swing down on her. Before Jaken or Kagome could comprehend what was happening, Rin grabbed Kagome's hand and charged out of the room through the side door that went into the gardens.

Once outside Rin faced Kagome, "You must never submit to him Lady Kagome. I am sure that m'lord would not have a problem with us using that room, especially for the type of talk we were just having. Just promise to never submit to him again."

"Rin I know that you are not use to beings talking as such in your presence but Master Jaken is right about me being tainted. My place is lower than the lowest servant that Lord Sesshoumaru has employed here. I apologize that you had to be witness to such talk but I receive that everywhere I go, it was only a matter of time before someone here started to say it as well."

When she saw that Rin was going to dispute it and had tears forming in her eyes, she stated. "How about we call it a day for the time being; I'll go and find another room to continue this in for tomorrow so we won't be interrupted again. Why don't you go and check on Captain Shippo, he was very upset last night when I last saw him." Kagome finished with a bitter smile.

Rin reluctantly nodded in acceptance of Kagome's request. 'If nothing else maybe I can talk to Shippo about Jaken.'

After a few moments Kagome reigns in her emotions and decides it is time she finds Inuyasha and Miroku, they are the only ones that she has yet to try to talk to; that want to talk to her, she thought sadly about Shippo's reluctant attitude to talk to her.

She sensed the two men to be within the teahouse, so turning in her current direction she started off for them; they had a lot to catch up on.

Rin reached Shippo's location in only a matter of minutes from running nonstop. Shippo looked down at her, as she tried to catch her breath.

"Rin is everything alright? Why aren't you with Lady Kagome?"

"She has dismissed me for the day. She told me that Lord Sesshoumaru is not ready to give me away to a mate yet, but he has to go through the act of acting as if he is. Isn't that good news?"

A sparkle of hope glinted in his eyes as he looked down to the young woman again, "Yes it is very good news indeed!"

"Uh, Ship I also wanted to talk to you about Ja…ah never mind." She stopped herself just as she noticed him approaching.

"Wench what are you doing up here harassing our hard working _Captain_? He cannot be bothered with your petty childish games any more. Get back to that whore who is supposed to be able to teach you how to be more of a lady; at least she can teach you what not to do." Jaken snidely remarked, daring anyone to refute him.

"Now you listen here Jaken, you can not go around disrespecting Lady Rin or Lady Kagome. I should report you to Lord Sesshoumaru for your ill treatment towards the two ladies." Shippo growled.

"Yes, young _Captain_, and while you are at it shall you also tell him of how you are neglecting your duties to play with this wench? M'lord would be most interested if I were to tell him about the constant touching you two keep having, don't you agree _Captain_?"

Rin quickly pulled Shippo away from Jaken and just quickly whispered, "Lady Kagome needs you, you are her son; please go to her."

When Shippo nodded his head towards her, she took off running yet again; only this time it was to her room, a place she knew she was safe from Jaken and his constant belittling.

Shippo continued to glare behind the little green toad as he waddled off, 'One day he will out live his usefulness, and I can only hope that Lord Sesshoumaru will allow me to be the one that shows him out.'

Meanwhile in the teahouse, Kagome just walked in as the tea server was walking out.

"Kagome I was wandering when you would come around so we could catch up, seems our mates have been monopolizing your time since you got here." Miroku smirked as he half way embraced her.

"Oye, wench, why did you become so anxious all of a sudden when I tried to hug you the other night? You don't seem to have a problem with the pervert here." Inuyasha grumbled.

Both males noticed the flinch she made at the usual nickname Inuyasha always used. "It's nothing Inu. So what have you two been up to since we all last traveled together, other than the obvious with your mates being pupped?"

Inuyasha lowered his ears to the top of his head, "You know Kagome I really don't mean anything by calling you that, it's an old bad habit. Also I am sorry that I allowed Kikyo to talk me out of following after you back then, I could have protected you if I had been with you."

Kagome lowered her gaze to the floor, "I know you are sorry Inu, but you have a mate now with a pup on its way; that was your destiny. You were not meant to be with me or to always protect me, everything has happened for a reason. If you had been with me then you would not have mated Sango and you more than likely would have died since I was meant to be taken by Nar…"

"You know I would give up everything if only I could have protected you from that monster. You are the last person that deserves this fate and outcome."

When Kagome started the cry Inuyasha rushed to her side to try and comfort her, only to be pulled back by Miroku as he noticed her powers rising.

Kagome sat in the middle of the floor rocking back and forth, enveloped in her purification powers while her eyes glowed red with silver specks. Her low growl was barely audible to the human ear, but Miroku could hear it none the less.

"Kagome! What's wrong with her Miroku? Can't you do something?" Inuyasha pleaded with his friend.

The two males could tell that Kagome was reliving something other than what Naraku had apparently done, for she started to whimper about a lost pup; they knew that Naraku had not succeeded in that aspect.

Miroku inched closer and closer towards her until he was right beside her barrier; he stopped there because she instantly turned her brightly shining red eyes onto him. He could tell though that she was starting to calm due to his presence but it was going to take too long and anything could set her off if she didn't calm down quickly.

Just as he was about to tell Inuyasha to go and retrieve Sesshoumaru, none other than Sesshoumaru and Shippo entered into the teahouse at the same time from two different doors; both completely focused on Kagome's body.

Miroku leaned closer to her when he slowly started to hear her whisper something that was making all the demons go wide eyed.

"I killed it…I don't deserve to live…the pup…I wish I were dead."

"What the hell is she talking about Monk?" Inuyasha questioned when he saw dawning come across his face.

"I fear I do not completely understand and out of respect for Lady Kagome I refuse to bring forth my speculations."

Shippo rushed to her side and embraced her, "Mama, please don't do this…come back to me please."

Again everyone was in shock as she did not lash out at the brash fox, instead her purification barrier dropped the minute he got to close; however she was still too far from being out of her sudden depressed trance.

"What the hell were you three talking about Hanyou? Why is she all of a sudden like this?"

"We were talking about the past bastard, how was I supposed to know this would happen?"

Shippo stood with pleading eyes directed at Sesshoumaru when he realized that he couldn't bring her out either. "My Lord maybe you can bring her back, please try." Shippo pleaded while bowing low to the ground.

Sesshoumaru stepped cautiously towards the red eyed demon, who was watching every step he took very meticulously. He was unsure if he would be able to do much of anything, if even Shippo and Miroku were unsuccessful.

However the minute Sesshoumaru placed a hand on her shoulder she slumped forward and effectively passed out.

Placing her bridal style in his arms Sesshoumaru declared then, "The past is not to be brought up again until she is ready to talk about it. When she begins her training she is to be in the presence of Miroku, Shippo, or myself. I don't know why but subconsciously she trust us, I will not have her harming you, Inuyasha, when she is like this; it will only add to her nightmares."

Reluctantly Inuyasha agreed he knew Sesshoumaru was right; Kagome would never forgive herself if she accidentally harmed one of her friends while she was mentally out of it.

Sesshoumaru turned to leave with Kagome, Shippo followed closely behind.

"Shippo you are to watch over your mother until she comes to, then I want her to be escorted to my study."

"As you wish m'lord." He said while bowing as Sesshoumaru placed the sleeping demigoddess onto her bed.

"Your past has not been kind to you one bit has it my demigoddess. I vow to do all that is within my power to rectify that starting now, if you would let me."

Curiosity ate at all of the males as they tried to figure out what Kagome had been reliving. Whose pup was she referring too? Who or what did she kill? Why was she begging to be dead? What could have possibly happened to make her wish for her own demise?

Miroku sat in a dark corner of his bed chambers with a half empty bottle of Saki in one hand and a drying cup in the other. The words echoing again in his head as he moved to pour yet another drink.

"By the gods; what did your child of the heavens, my grandchild, ever do to deserve this fate? How much more will she be put through before you finally break her and have her return to you before her time?"

"_Miroku her path is a difficult one indeed and she will need all the support she can get from all of you. Every heroine must meet a pinnacle; they have their peaks of good time and of the bad. Unfortunately, Kagome had yet to reach that part for the bad. Her destiny is difficult but as a child of gods we have faith in her surviving. Remember you are her present but also her past; we are her present, past, and future."_

"Who are you?" Miroku asked though he had a vague feeling he knew already.

"_I am the Goddess Selene, and Kagome is my granddaughter. I wish her fate could have been different but the gods especially made her heart big enough so that it could handle and survive what is in store for her. She is already growing to hate us, that path will only lead her to more sorrow I'm afraid. We can not meddle in her life to help her choose her paths but I foresee a very sad and dangerous path if she keeps on this track."_

Miroku nodded his head in understanding, the Goddess's hands were tied to the point that she couldn't directly help her granddaughter to get back on the right track but she could go through a third party for help and who better than the other set of grandparents!

"I will do all within my power to protect my granddaughter and see that her happiness once and for all comes to fruition." Miroku vowed to the Goddess Selene.

"_I knew you would!"_

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Well like I said at the very beginning, there are no excuses for being gone for almost a year and a half. I honestly don't know where the time went. I am hoping that I haven't lost too many readers of this story and that not all of you are completely angry with me. **_

_**The villain is a little hard to work with, having to change his whole personality almost. Also it is difficult having Kagome be so submissive, I haven't personally gone through everything in life that I have made her go through but I have gone through quite a bit of it and I became more guarded and take shit from no one type attitude, the complete opposite of Kagome here…it is a little hard to get into her head at times!**_

_**I hope again all can for give my long inexcusable absence. Please R&R**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

Shippo watched over Kagome as she slept. "I'm so sorry Mama. I can't help but to feel as though you just abandoned me right when we both needed each other. I could have helped you or even protected you from whatever has happened to you these past seven months. Why did you shut yourself off to me? I tried so many times over these months to contact you, or even locate you; you obviously did not want me to find you for some reason."

Getting up out of the chair that was located near her bedside, Shippo walked towards the balcony's shoji screen door and cracked it open.

"You would have really been happy here, we could have all helped you get over your ordeal with Naraku and you would have never gone through your ordeal of the past seven months if you were here. I thought all these months that I no longer needed a mother, but just now hearing what you were saying made me realize how wrong I have been; how angry I have been to the point that it has blinded my heart when it comes to you."

Kagome tried to lay there and pretend to be asleep, she knew he needed to get this off his chest but still a lone tear escaped her eyes. Shippo was at her side within a blink of an eye.

"Mama?"

"Say it again Shippo?" Kagome pleaded as she opened watery eyes to her pup.

Shippo cocked his head to the side before realization dawned on him; with a smile he complied. "Mama!"

The two of them sat there embracing one another for quite a while, neither wanted to move nor disturb the peace they had just found.

"I can not, and will not, tell you what happened during these past seven months; I'm not ready yet. I do want you to know that you were better off here, away from me and away from harm. You have always been my weakness, Sweetie! If anything ever happened to you I would cease to exist. I would gladly live through Nar…I would go through all of that again for eternity if it meant that I could keep you safe from harm."

Shaking his head, "I would never allow you to sacrifice yourself for me. I may not be your son by birth but you are the woman I chose to be my mother. It is my responsibility as the male of this little family to always protect you; you had that responsibility while I was little but now that I am grown it is my duty to protect you, Mama."

Kagome just sadly smiled at her pup, "If you had been with me, you would not have the relationship you have with Rin. The two of you would not be in love with one another."

Shocked that his mother was so very observant, he couldn't help but to just stare at her until he realized that she had stated that Rin was in love with him too; a silly little goofy grin broke out on his face.

"I know Sweetie and don't worry, if what I have seen is any indication all will work out for the best all you need to do is to be patient for the right moment." Kagome spoke knowingly.

"Thanks for that Mama! By the way, Lord Sesshoumaru has requested that you be escorted to his study now that you are up, would you like to go or should I send word that you are unable too?"

"No, I have a pretty good idea what he wants to talk to me about. Allow me to freshen up a bit before we go please."

As Kagome and Shippo made their way to the Lord's study, Inuyasha was approaching Sango.

"While you were with Kagome, did she say anything about what has happened these past seven months?"

"No she just shut down whenever we would ask her anything about it. Did something happen?"

"I don't think we should stay for very long, we will come back and visit often but my presence isn't helping her I fear. She had another anxiety attack just now and I was the only one that couldn't get near her to comfort her; she was ready to attack. I don't want her to accidently attack me just for her to come too and start blaming herself even more…I fear she has already been through too much." Inuyasha finished in a dejected tone of voice, ears lowered to his scalp.

Sango looked at him with sad eyes, she knew her mate always blamed himself for not being there for Kagome when Naraku kidnapped her and now with the prospect of something else having happened to her during her time away from everyone; she knew this too would eat away at him.

"In that case I agree, we should leave come morning with the announcement of returning in one month. Is that good with you?"

Nodding his head they set off hand in hand to go to inform Sesshoumaru.

After Inuyasha and Sango walked off, Ayame decided to go in search for her mate. She was surprised when she sensed him in their bed chambers this early in the day, a spike of jealousy rose however when she smelled the scent of Saki and an unknown female's scent within.

She swung the shoji screen open and went barging in just as she noticed a figure disappearing.

Vibrant green eyes turned to her mate who she could tell was close to being drunk.

"What is going on? Who was that just now?"

"That, my Mate, was Lady Kagome's other Grandmother, the Goddess Selene herself. She came to give a warning, we must get Kagome back on the right path or the trials and heartache she has already suffered will be nothing compared to what lies in wait for her."

"You are drunk, you speak nonsense. What could possibly be worse than what she went through with Naraku?"

"I wish I were drunk, for then I could possibly drown out her voice and sadness. I fear Kagome has already suffered worse than Naraku; to loose a child by your own doing…"

"What are you talking about?" Ayame looked fearful towards her mate. 'Surely the gods would not do that to her, especially after knowing how much she loves children. Even if the child was due to another raping she still would have loved the child with all of her heart.'

"All I can do is to speculate but I believe that I am right. It is not our place to bring it up and since the thought alone threw her into a full blown anxiety attack that neither Shippo nor myself could completely bring her out of; it is best we leave this between us."

Miroku rose from his seat and walked over to embrace his now crying mate. "She is strong; she will get through this like she has everything else. She will need us to help her get back on her correct path though; I don't think she will survive otherwise."

When Ayame nodded in agreement the two of them went to lay down on their bed just holding each other, in a few hours it would be time for the afternoon meal.

Meanwhile in Sesshoumaru's study, Kagome and Shippo just arrived and Sesshoumaru was in the process of dismissing Shippo.

"Return to your post Captain. You will have time with your Mother in a little over an hour, after we all have our afternoon meal."

Shippo bowed in acceptance to Sesshoumaru and placed a chase kiss to Kagome's forehead before leaving.

"I take it that you and the fox have managed to patch things up?"

"Yes, Shippo finally opened up and released all of his pent up anger and frustration. We had a little chat before coming here."

Nodding in understanding, Sesshoumaru got down to business. "I'm not exactly sure what happened before I got there but due to the turn of events I have told Inuyasha that under no circumstances is he to be alone with you; his presence was unwanted by your beast just now."

"I didn't…I didn't hurt him or anyone else did I?"

"No, that is precisely why I told him what I did. When you begin training tomorrow you will either train with Shippo, Miroku, or myself. The Monk and Fox seem to be able to keep you calm enough until I get to you, they should not be in any danger; however if anything were to change then I will be the only person to train you."

Nodding in acceptance Kagome asked, "What of my training in regards to Rin? I can't have the type of conversation with her that is needed with a male around."

Before he could respond there was a knock on the shoji screen door.

"Enter"

Inuyasha and Sango both walked in and immediately looked to Kagome. Inuyasha could see the hurt and sadness within her eyes when she looked at him. 'So the bastard told her.'

"We won't be long; I was just coming to inform you that Sango and I will be leaving in the morning. After what happened earlier I believe it is best for Kagome that I remove myself from the picture for a while so that nothing happens to hurt her worse."

When Sango noticed that Kagome was about to object, she piped up. "Don't worry Kagome we will be back in about a month's time. We don't hold any hard feelings towards you; we are only trying to help you. Lord Sesshoumaru was right when he said that Inu needs to keep his distance; you would never forgive yourself if you accidently attacked him while you were out of it. We were unable to help you in the past and this is the only way we can think to help you now, please allow us to do what we feel we need to so you can get better!"

With tears brimming in her eyes Kagome could do nothing but accept what they were proposing.

Sesshoumaru took this time to speak up. "I have a request then Slayer. Take Rin with you and teach her what it means to be of age; train her in your ways. Rin has some of the basics that she needs to know about life and swordsmanship but she needs more. I find that a month in your company will be beneficial for her."

"Might I suggest that Shippo attend with her as her guard? I have all the faith in the world in Inuyasha's abilities to be able to protect her but if he is distracted by his mate, he might need help especially since she is with pup."

Sesshoumaru nodded his head in acceptance to Kagome's request. "I shall inform them at once."

"Why don't we just inform them at the afternoon meal?"

Inuyasha and Sango excused themselves from the study so they could start preparing for their departure come morning.

"Why do I feel as though you have ulterior motives behind my Captain attending? He just came into his promotion and now he will be…"

"Is it not a Captain's duty to protect those of the royal family? Is Rin not considered your daughter? Who better to protect her from those that would try to harm her, just to get to you, then the newly promoted Captain; all will underestimate him, he will do you proud in protecting her with his very life I can assure you of that m'lord."

Sesshoumaru stood up and approached Kagome. When he was behind her, he leaned in and whispered into her ear. "Milady I assure you that I have no doubt in my Captain's willingness to protect my ward."

A shiver shot down Kagome's spine when his hot breath fanned against her ear; she almost fell to the ground as her legs became jelly when he brushed her hair to one side as he whispered.

"I am sorry my demigoddess that I could not have gotten there in time to spare you. That will be my only regret that I will have for the rest of my life."

It was the same thing the he said from her vision she had over seven months again.

"I regret more that I watched as you left me only for you to have experienced more pain and heartache when I could have been there to protect you."

His scent and proximity to her were playing havoc on her senses. His words and voice seemed as though they belong in one of the many trash novels she read back in her birth time.

"I wish with all of my being to mark you once again, to let all know who it is that you belong with; that mark will be complete in time and you would not be able to remove it. Let me mark you as mine now and later I will complete the mark by making you completely mine."

Kagome's breathing started to become labored as the room started to spin. Suddenly everything stilled once she felt Sesshoumaru's fangs graze her right shoulder and neck. He wanted to mark her as a ward of the West, his mark to bran her as his.

When he didn't sense any hesitation and she did not try to pull away from him, Sesshoumaru took that as permission to proceed.

"You have been mine to protect since before you were even born, and soon you will be one with me for all eternity."

With that stated Sesshoumaru savored the taste of her as he licked her neck and shoulder before he plunged his fangs in to mark her as his ward. 'Very soon I shall replace this mark with one on your left shoulder to show the world that you are my mate.'

As soon as the link began to form Sesshoumaru was overwhelmed with the emotions Kagome had been feeling up until now. Her memories and knowledge of why she felt what she felt where still just for her but her emotions were completely shared with Sesshoumaru now. There would be no more hiding from him, she knew.

After a minute Sesshoumaru reluctantly released his hold on her; licking at the wounds to help them heal quicker.

All of her emotions were running through his mind, and vise versa. Kagome could feel the betrayal he felt when she apparently left and the lust and longing he felt during the time she was away and she felt, dare she say love?

With wide eyes she turned in his embrace and looked him in the eyes only to see him searching her eyes as well; trying desperately to understand all of the mixed emotions and pain that she has endured all this time. He could distinguish some of them like when she was dreaming of him at night or when she was with someone she deemed worthy enough to be a friend, but it was the others that had his heart breaking; a heart he didn't know he had to break.

Suddenly his eyes widened as he felt that he finally understood what she had been talking about earlier that day in the teahouse, he had felt her emotions go into mourning and such a deep depression; but nothing before that would support that it was a willing predicament.

Kagome became a little fearful as she started to worry that he was able to decipher her emotions into knowing what they were. She knew one day she might open up to him about it but she was not ready to do so yet, besides this was her burden not his.

"Kagome, promise me that you will never leave me again. I cannot protect you if you leave my side, I was a fool once for standing still as I watched you leave; I will not make the same grievous mistake again." With that stated Sesshoumaru leaned down and gently kissed her until she softly pushed him away.

"I can't Sesshoumaru; I am dirty, a filthy whore, I will not lower your standings with your people and the other cardinal Lords by having you associated with me more than as your ward. They won't think any differently of you if they just assume me to be your concubine, let them, but as your mate it is impossible; please don't make me love you more than I already do."

With that said Kagome ran from the room to find sanctuary in the garden located just outside of her room.

Rage and anguish raced through Sesshoumaru's blood. Rage behind the fact that she truly believes and people have the audacity to call her such vile things and anguish because she loves him but is refusing still to act on it because of her idiotic view of herself.

"I will punish any who so much as glance at Kagome disrespectfully or make inappropriate comments to her. She will be respected for the being that she is and one day will be. I will not back down on my claim for her." Sesshoumaru vowed aloud to himself and the gods above; almost daring them to hurt her more than she already has been. "I will seek retribution!"

Meanwhile a certain Goddess was looking for Egeria and Virbius; they had some explaining to do. She had seen everything that had happened to Kagome but what she didn't understand was why they weren't trying to get her back on her correct path. She felt some hope enter her heart just now as she heard her declaration of loving the young lord but still she had a long road ahead of her before she would ever be able to act on that love with no regret; the road was even longer if she did not find her inner strength once again.

_**Author's Note:**_

_**A little treat two chapters in one day for the long wait. I will have internet installed in the new place, I moved to, next month so hopefully I will either have one chapter ready by then or more! Here is hoping anyways.**_

_**Please R&R**_

_**Pandora **_


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry plot bunnies are working over the story...a little more patience and I promise to make it worth your extremely over rated long wait!


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